One thing that breaks my heart is to think of all the children waiting for adoption. So many parents want to adopt newborns that the older children often end up waiting for something that will never happen for them. I can understand wanting to adopt a newborn, and everyone should be able to adopt the age they want, but there are many misconceptions about adopting a newborn verses an older child. If you think that you cannot bond with an older child, I am here to tell you from experience that this is simply not true.
Though my daughter was not one of the children waiting for adoption, there came a time when she had to come live with me. My brother’s wife died, and he was left to raise her on his own. He gave it his best try but he found that he could not do it. He asked my mom to take her, but because of her ill health, this did not last very long. She ended up in my care at age two. There are many children waiting for adoption that are that same age, and I can’t believe that others have not opened their hearts to them.
My little girl is loved more than I thought I could ever love another human being. The other children waiting for adoption deserve the same thing, and I hope with all of my heart that they get it. It doesn’t matter that she was not born to me, and it doesn’t matter that she was already two when she came into my home. The pain I have felt when separated from her, and the pure joy she has provided tells me that I love her as much as any mother loves a child, and that love is returned to me in spades. There are thousands of children waiting for adoption that have the same love to give if someone would just give them a chance.
If you want to adopt, but you are having trouble finding a newborn, you should consider looking into other children waiting for adoption. They may be older, but I assure you that the love will be the same. Yes, you will miss out on infanthood, but when it is all said and done, that will be a very minor issue. Some of the older children waiting for adoption run out of hope for a good life, and I cannot think of anything sadder. Think about opening your heart to an older child, and you may thank God each day that you did.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Adoption From China
My husband and I are best friends with a couple who has tried for years to conceive a child. They have exhausted most fertility methods that their insurance has allowed them. Finally, they were faced with the decision of trying some expensive methods that were not guaranteed, or of adopting. Over dinner one evening, they told us that they had been thinking about looking into adoption from China. My husband, having been adopted as a baby, told them that he thought that was a wonderful idea. I silently wondered to myself, why they couldn't adopt a child from our own country who needs a home, but expressed my delight for them. Over the next few months, they gathered lots of facts and information about how adoption from China works.
I decided to do some research on my own on adoption from China just to satisfy my own curiosity. I was actually quite fascinated to learn some facts that I would never have guessed. 95% of children that are adopted from China are females. That is because of their population control regulations. I think it is terribly sad that the government has chosen to regulate what the population can be, but I do not live in that country and will not get into that. So, almost anyone considering adoption from China will be guaranteed to be bringing home a little girl. I was surprised to learn that adoption from China averages $20,000 - $25,000. I wondered how the average family can afford those fees. Our friends said that they planned on taking out a home equity loan to be able to afford to move forward with adoption from China.
Both spouses who are looking into adoption from China must be at least 30 years old. That meant that our friends would have to wait one more year before starting the process, giving them time to get prepared and save some money as well. They also needed to get their passports and prepare to take a last minute trip once they were contacted that there was an available child for them. Adoption from China requires that at least one of the spouses travel to the country to bring their child home. I know that they both planned on being there to greet their new family member and perhaps enjoy their time overseas. Once they were both 30 years old, it would most likely be less than a year for them to be able to have a child. In America, that wait can be quite a bit longer.
After hearing their thoughts on adoption from China and doing some of my own research, I was excited for them. They knew that adoption from China was what they wanted to do. I had decided that I would be throwing them a huge shower when they brought home their new family member. They would definitely be deserving of it.
I decided to do some research on my own on adoption from China just to satisfy my own curiosity. I was actually quite fascinated to learn some facts that I would never have guessed. 95% of children that are adopted from China are females. That is because of their population control regulations. I think it is terribly sad that the government has chosen to regulate what the population can be, but I do not live in that country and will not get into that. So, almost anyone considering adoption from China will be guaranteed to be bringing home a little girl. I was surprised to learn that adoption from China averages $20,000 - $25,000. I wondered how the average family can afford those fees. Our friends said that they planned on taking out a home equity loan to be able to afford to move forward with adoption from China.
Both spouses who are looking into adoption from China must be at least 30 years old. That meant that our friends would have to wait one more year before starting the process, giving them time to get prepared and save some money as well. They also needed to get their passports and prepare to take a last minute trip once they were contacted that there was an available child for them. Adoption from China requires that at least one of the spouses travel to the country to bring their child home. I know that they both planned on being there to greet their new family member and perhaps enjoy their time overseas. Once they were both 30 years old, it would most likely be less than a year for them to be able to have a child. In America, that wait can be quite a bit longer.
After hearing their thoughts on adoption from China and doing some of my own research, I was excited for them. They knew that adoption from China was what they wanted to do. I had decided that I would be throwing them a huge shower when they brought home their new family member. They would definitely be deserving of it.
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