I recently decided to adopt a child. I never had thought about it, but adopting a child involves a lot of difficult negotiating, especially in the first year. Don't get me wrong, we clicked very quickly. The problem was, I couldn't figure out exactly how to introduce him to the family. I have a large extended family, including many friends who are not technically related to me. They were all happy to hear that I had decided to adopt a child, and I wanted to have a party to welcome him into the family. Nonetheless, I couldn't decide on the issue of adoption announcements.
You see, adoption birth announcements can be pretty tricky. On the one hand, you do not want the baby boy announcements to make the child stand out. You want him to feel relaxed and comfortable in the family. Adoption announcements would be bad enough for a newborn child, but my child was already three years old! Although he would probably forget his early life, nonetheless I did not want to traumatize him with the party.
I could not figure out whether or not to send out adoption announcements. If you have worked with children, you might think that it would be an easy decision to make. A social worker friend of mine said that it was clearly a situation where I should let the event pass without celebration. She said adoption announcements can make them feel like they are outcasts or freaks.
Instead, she suggested having a few intimate friends over at a time and gradually introducing him to everyone. The problem was that I knew if I didn't send out adoption announcements, I was probably bound to offend someone. My family is very big on formality, and the adoption announcements were almost a given to them. They figured that if anyone was joining the family, whether they were adopted, newborn, or someone's fiancé, they should be brought around to meet everyone.
Finally, I decided not to get adoption announcements. Instead, I waited until his first birthday. Although a few people were miffed at the absence of an adoption announcements party, the vast majority of my relatives understood. You have to be very careful with an adopted child's feelings. Children in general can be delicate, but adopted children are especially prone to be so. Adopting a child, after all, is not like adopting a pet. You can not just show him around and expect him to love everyone and everyone to love him. It takes a lighter touch, and a longer period of time than that.
